I’m the New York City Marathon, and We Need to Set Some Boundaries

We need to talk. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, but I’m worried you’re looking for something a little more serious than what I have the emotional capacity to provide right now.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s been fun so far: the little three-mile loops in Prospect Park, listening to that special playlist you made for me, you introducing me to your friends as the exciting new thing in your life. But this is progressing faster than I can manage—remember, I’m a marathon, not a sprint.

So with that in mind, I think we should establish some boundaries.

As your marathon, I can provide you with an opportunity to run 26.2 miles. I cannot make Susan come home.